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Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem, by Kimberlee Roth Freda B. Friedman

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Review

“If Stop Walking on Eggshells has become the bible for people with a borderline family member, I predict that Surviving a Borderline Parent will become the ‘must have’ book for people who have a parent with borderline traits. Authors Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman have done a stunning job of validating the isolating experience of these ‘adult children,’ and more importnantly, shown them how to overcome the constant feelings of guilt, abnormality, and self-doubt. This book belongs on the shelf of every clinician and adult child with a borderline parent.” —Randi Kreger, author of Stop Walking on Eggshells“Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman provide comprehensive guidelines for adult children with borderline parents that help create balance and boundaries in these tumultuous relationships. The authors point to the need to break the ‘silent treatment’ around Borderline Personality Disorder and encourage clinicians to educate patients and family members about this diagnosis. This book is well worth the investment for any adult child with a borderline parent.” —Christine A. Lawson, Ph.D., author of Understanding the Borderline Mother “Life with a ‘normal’ parent can be hard enough. All of us have stories about low points in growing up. But ultimately we can look back on childhood with a warm feeling about our parents and feel that we were loved and nurtured. Not so for children of a parent with Borderline Personality Disorder. These adult kids may need to do years of work to recover from the narcissism of their caregivers. Surviving a Borderline Parent provides life-affirming signposts to the road back to emotional health.” —Ross Werland, health editor for the Chicago Tribune

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From the Publisher

This is the first step by step guide for adult children of parents with Borderline Personality Disorder. It teaches them how to overcome the devastating effects of growing up with a parent who suffers from BPD. Foreword is by Randi Kreger, coauthor of "Stop Walking on Eggshells" and "The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook."

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Product details

Paperback: 185 pages

Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (January 1, 2004)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1572243287

ISBN-13: 978-1572243286

Product Dimensions:

6 x 0.5 x 8.8 inches

Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.6 out of 5 stars

242 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#22,359 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

I wish I'd found this book sooner! I started seeing a therapist because I knew something was wrong with me, I just couldn't figure out what it was. She suggested that my mother might have BPD and that I do a little research on the subject. I found this book and read the first half in one night. I read a few pages, cried, read a few more pages, cried some more. Apparently everything "wrong" with me is a completely normal reaction to being raised by a mother with BPD. I'm still sorting through all the pain, guilt and trauma of spending the last 35 years convinced that I was the problem, but I have hope for the first time ever. With the help of this book and a therapist I believe I can build some self-esteem, find some confidence and start fully living for the first time ever. I'm really grateful.

My personality disordered parents who are completely lacking in insight and judgement into their mental illness and abusive behaviors forced me into counseling at the age of 14 because they felt my justified anger that I used to defend myself against my mom’s daily three hour rage attacks on me was pathological. All of these 25 counselors and 6 psychiatrists in 30 years in the system never once asked me about my family dynamic so put me on antidepressants to control my behavior which caused mania that they treated with antipsychotics that induced psychosis within one month and I earned the label of bipolar 1 with psychoses which required CBT and I kept trying to redirect them to the psychological abuse I was enduring as an adult since birth but ALL of them said my parents were the one reacting to my pathological behavior from being bipolar and they would treat me better if I acted better because they weren’t mentally ill so I had to be the one who was abusive. Nobody identified the abuse, validated me, would let me express my pain and anger because they were convinced there was no environmental cause for it. I’ve been in therapy with a counselor for a year and a half who has actually let me try to piece together the little I remember of my whole past due to dissociative amnesia and validated my parents are abusive and the bipolar and psychosis were medication induced, but as good as she has been, she wasn’t able to give me the details of why my parents act like they do and the beliefs and behaviors and JUSTIFIED rage there abuse caused in me nor these precious exercises that treat the EXACT issues I struggle with. $11.99 to identify and fix what $50,000 and 30 years in the mental health system didn’t even come close to identifying much less treat appropriately. This book is a God send and I am so grateful to be able to let go of the blame and my past, get well and finally get on with my life with complete confidence in my perception that everyone has tried to make me believe is inaccurate. What a gift!

Cannot tell you how comforting this book was to read about my mother. I'm in my forties and still have a horrid relationship with her. But reading this book was like the author wrote it about my actual mother. She was textbook borderline and after 20 years of shrinks, one suggested I read this to see how much rang true. I finally realized it wasn't me with the problem. My real problem was having a mother who had all of these confusing traits and it to be undiagnosed and untreated. The classic sign of the Borderline person as it's never their fault and to project their problems on the closest people around them, usually me. A Borderline person is someone with no boundaries and no respect for anyone else's. However, it's more than that, they are incapable and this gave me comfort. She isn't being disrespectful or ignoring my space, this book explained she's incapable. It's like giving an instruction in Italian to someone who speaks English. They might pick up a little from your hand gestures, but they didn't really get it and therefore will not implement a thing. Being normal to their child for a Borderline is impossible, they don't understand and this book showed me she never will.

Found out my mother shows all the signs of BPD a couple months ago. I'm 40. I've realized that her mental illness has warped my entire life. I'm about halfway through this book and I'm tearing through it. The amount of gasps and outbreaks of tears in just a few hours has been rather epic. I already feel validated and less lonely, and I've managed to batter back the depression that was creeping up on me today because of it. I've also been reading the book by Randi Kreger, who wrote the foreword to this book. It's also been very helpful, though more for how to manage my interactions with my mother. This is actually helping with the healing process.

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Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem, by Kimberlee Roth Freda B. Friedman PDF

Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem, by Kimberlee Roth Freda B. Friedman PDF